


The Calm Before the Storm

by TiamatZX



Series: Birds of a Feather [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Spoilers through Episode 64
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-12 00:36:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7913578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiamatZX/pseuds/TiamatZX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's never too late to realize when you want something... even if you think you don't deserve it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Calm Before the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> My interpretation of what Keyleth's thoughts were after discovering the body of Tiberius Stormwind in Draconia... and what made her want to seek out Vax that night, which would ultimately lead to her confession.
> 
> I was very, very nervous about writing this, believe me. Still, it doesn't hurt to try. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

The evening sky and the waning sun blanketed the city of Whitestone, the familiar cold air breezing through the city streets as the people began to turn in for the night, the city itself protected for the moment by a powerful magical barrier. But the tension in the air was still thick due to the events of the previous day with the sudden appearance of a giant white dragon flying past the city, seemingly unaware of their existence. The people began to sleep, unsure of what was to come and wondering whether or not they would live to see tomorrow.

And yet, up in Castle Whitestone, some people could not sleep. Keyleth of the Air Ashari, a member of Vox Machina and one of their saviors, was one of them as she lay on the bed in her room. Her mind continued to race regarding the events that had occurred over the past two days: returning from the Feywild only to nearly be discovered by Vorugal, negotiating with Tooma and the Ravinites and learning of the fate of Draconia, and Scanlan accidentally letting slip the secret of Whitestone thus forcing the party to make the most of what time they had to prepare.

But the worst of them all was finding the remains of Tiberius Stormwind, impaled on a spike of ice outside the Frigid Doom’s lair for all to see. Such a noble life, gone before his prime. And yet, she could recall seeing that his face wasn’t one of fear nor one of pain. It was one of pride and honor. He had died fighting as a hero to his people.

_That’s Tibsy for you. Stubborn to the very end. And yet... why did it have to be him? Why did he have to be the first of us... to die? Why?!_

Keyleth started to cry again, somewhat amazed that she could still do so after having put him to rest in the ruined library. She reached for the piece of robe that she had taken and clutched it tightly , pressing it and her fist close to her chest. Tiberius was a true friend and a confidant, but first and foremost a friend. He was family. Even now, she could remember how it felt having him around, his presence hard to ignore. He was always quite smart, if a bit absent-minded. But Tiberius was always fiercely loyal to those he called his friends and companions. There was never a dull moment with him, even if many of his actions tended to get on the nerves of those around him. And now... there was a void in her heart that lingered with the discovery of his death, a void as cold as the ice that skewered him. She found it very hard to breathe, her lungs aching for air and receiving only just enough to not pass out.

She closed her eyes, looking back to the many memories they all shared. Most of those memories were not pleasant, such as when she rebuked him for murdering a defenseless old woman, or when he attempted to calm her down when she had her arguments involving Lady Kima in the Underdark. One of the more unpleasant memories was when he was being very disrespectful around the time they had fought K’Varn. Staying true to his word that he would not set foot inside the temple, he had not bothered to aid them until near the end, instead trying to rally the illithid with little success. Not to mention there was also the memory of him bailing on the group before they arrived in Whitestone in addition to the last time she saw him alive, when he was packing his things and returning to Draconia. It was heartbreaking in hindsight considering none of them knew at the time that his farewell would be the final time despite his assurance that they would meet again.

But there were also good memories, such as the amount of respect he had for her every time he referred to her as “Your Highness”, or even the times he had saved her life. There was also the many moments they had shared even before going to Kraghammer, many of which were fun despite the danger.

And then, as Keyleth went through her memories, what really stood out at her was one in particular. It was after facing the Briarwoods for the first time, and after having gotten kicked off the council. Tiberius had become heartbroken due to Allura being disappointed and Vax, being the dumbass that he usually was, had given him some liquor to drink. She could remember feeling so angry at the rogue for that, even more so since it was after he had compared the old woman’s brutal murder to the time she killed that child when they fought the Dread Emperor at least half a year ago. She was seething at how insensitive Vax was back then and she didn’t want to talk to him over the next week, but had eventually calmed down.

But surprisingly, it wasn’t the argument that she thought of. It was what Tiberius had said in his drunken haze. Namely, that Vax liked her. Far before she had heard from the rogue’s own mouth that he loved her. It was seemingly a stupid, irrelevant moment in the heat of her anger at Vax, but thinking back, she realized that she should’ve seen it coming long before he had confessed to her before they descended deeper towards the Ziggurat.

_How long was Vax holding that in? How long has it been since he fell in love with someone like me? When... have I?_

Keyleth opened her eyes, the tears having stopped. The realization hit her like a battering ram. Vax’ildan had always been there for her from the beginning. Always helping, always being supportive, and always being patient, more so than she had given him credit for. From the day they first met to the time he comforted her in the Underdark to now, he was always there. He was even there for her when she dove into the Plane of Fire and he followed her in despite his fear of lava. He was always on the forefront of her mind for quite some time before she went to sleep, long before he had confessed and kissed her. And when they had that talk at the Sun Tree, Vax had been so honest about his feelings. And all she could tell him was that she was afraid. As such, he was willing to wait for her, to give her the time she needed to think things through. All because she was afraid. Afraid of losing him, afraid of allowing herself to love and suffer heartbreak.

**_“Your future is as important as it is fragile. Protect it.”_ **

The words Keyleth had heard in the vision she experienced while she was with the Earth Ashari echoed in her mind. All this time, she wasn’t sure about what path she wanted to take. The future was so uncertain, so susceptible to change, that it frightened her. And the fact that she was bound to her “destiny” of becoming headmaster wasn’t helping matters, either. She knew that should she live to complete the Aramente, she would eventually outlive everyone, especially Vax. And that was what made him leave her side the night Vex had died and was brought back, leaving her to sit there alone in her despair.

The future frightened her because of how uncertain and susceptible to change it was... but as she thought back on it, it was never truly clear as to whether or not the future would end the way she feared. After all, the future is always subject to change with every decision that is made, no matter how small.

And that’s when it dawned upon her. Keyleth’s eyes widened upon the sudden realization.

_My future... It hasn’t been set in stone yet. So... why am I afraid of something that hasn’t happened yet?_

_Oh. Oh, gods... What have I done?_

Fresh tears fell down her face upon realizing just how much she fucked up. She knew that Vax was already emotionally vulnerable, a vulnerability that Keyleth grew to understand all too well due to having gotten to know him and understand him. Having gotten... to love him. But after she had caused him to walk away that night, he became even more distant. And it was all her fault. She had ended up wasting so much time. Time that could have been spent being with him every chance she could. Time that would’ve made them both happy. And yet... she felt as if it was now too late.

_Gods, how long have I kept him waiting? How long has he been suffering because of my inaction? Because of my cowardice? How much time have I wasted being afraid over this? Even now he’s still waiting, thinking that I’m too scared to even try to pursue this._

_But... what if it’s not too late? What if I can still fix things? I don’t have Vex’s overwhelming confidence nor Percy’s brilliant intelligence. I don’t have Grog’s boundless courage nor Scanlan’s sheer charismatic personality, nor even Pike’s unshaken will._

_Still, I think— No. I_ **know** _I can fix this._

With a surge of renewed determination, Keyleth got up off the bed and opened the door, pocketing the piece of robe and wiping the tears off her face. She knew that she had to talk to Vax, because she wasn’t the only one dealing with Tiberius’ passing. She wanted to be there to give him some small sense of comfort. She wanted to assure him that things could still be all right despite the time crunch they found themselves in. She wanted to assure him that he was not alone, much like how he told her the same months ago.

But most importantly, she just wanted to be with him.

_I can’t keep him waiting anymore, not at a time like this._

She made her way to Vax’s door, and after a long while, she knocked. A few moments passed without any sound, and Keyleth briefly wondered if he was out and about yet again doing Kord knows what. But then she heard the sound of the handle turning and then the door opened. And sure enough, standing in the doorway facing her, was Vax’ildan. He apparently had recently changed out of his armor and removed his usual gear. From the looks of it he was about ready to head to bed when she came to his door. Keyleth tried to force a smile but knew that she couldn’t, not at a time like this. She also noticed that Vax looked distant, more so than usual.

Trying to stay as calm as possible, she asked Vax, “Can I stay with you tonight?”

Vax didn’t respond at first, but she could see the need in his eyes. He clearly was hoping for something like this, as if he had a lot on his mind to talk about. And good gods, so did she. She wanted to tell him so much about things. But doing so out in the hallway wasn’t exactly the best idea. Instead, without saying a word, he stepped away from the door and ushered her in, closing it behind them.

**Author's Note:**

> I initially didn't plan to write this but I did so out of boredom. I just hope you guys liked this, as I really tried to write this as if this is what Keyleth would be thinking in-character regarding the events of Episode 64.
> 
> Part 2 will be the opening moments of Episode 65.
> 
> Also, huge Vaxleth shipper right here. Not afraid to admit it.


End file.
